November 22, 2015


Review #755: Starcrash.

Caroline Munro (Stella Star), Marjoe Gortner (Akton), Judd Hamilton (Elle), David Hasselhoff (Simon), Christopher Plummer (The Emperor), Joe Spinell (Count Zarth Arn), Robert Tessier (Thor), Nadia Cassini (Corelia), and Hamilton Camp (Voice of Elle) Directed by Luigi Cozzi.

With lines like "Soon I will join you as your prince of darkness", "Full battle speed!", and "What in the universe?", how can you take this seriously? Answer: You don't. One could just pass this off as a Star Wars rip-off, but it is hard to ignore the fact that Christopher Plummer (playing an Emperor who isn't a villain) stars in it, reportedly only doing the role just so he could be in Rome. John Barry (composer of 11 Bond films) composed the film, which I admit is pretty cool. Right from the opening scene, the movie already looks like a ripoff of other, better science fiction films, but I started losing it when the crew was attacked by what appear to be pink bubbles. I have to admit, I had no clue about what I would see, and...this is one really weird movie. It only makes sense that David Hasselhoff is in this movie, though he only shows up in the last 40 minutes or so. It's funny how out of all the space-sounding names in this film, he gets the most simple one. I guess Simon is a real popular name in space. The effects are certainly noteworthy, mainly because while they aren't exactly good, I can't imagine a CGI version of this being any better. While the movie was released in America in 1979, apparently it was released first in West Germany, in December of 1978...I guess West Germany wanted it more. The acting in this movie is...over-the-top, but also very hilarious to watch. I especially love the interactions between Munro and Gortner, who seem to have a very animated face about everything. I especially like Elle, the robot with emotions (because...[Answer not found]) who sounds like a cowboy. Nothing about this movie is entirely original, but the movie is interesting to watch because of all the absurdities that go on. I especially love how Akton (the sidekick to Stella) suddenly has powers to deflect lasers with his hands, use laser swords, and know about the future, yet he apparently can't save himself from being killed by what are apparently robot golems. At the end of the day, I know it is a bad movie. And yet, I'd recommend checking it out, mainly so you can see the absurdity for yourself.

Overall, I give it 6 out of 10 stars.

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