July 6, 2014
Movie Night: Thinner.
Review #614: Thinner.
Robert John Burke (Billy Halleck), Joe Mantegna (Richie "The Hammer" Ginelli), Lucinda Jenney (Heidi Halleck), Michael Constantine (Tadzu Lempke), Kari Wührer (Gina Lempke), Bethany Joy Lenz (Linda Halleck), Daniel von Bargen (Chief Duncan Hopley), and John Horton (Judge Cary Rossington) Directed by Tom Holland.
You want a movie that goes over the top and manages to be outrageously insane while having 0 likable characters? This is the movie for you. The movie is based off the book of the same name by Stephen King (who even has a cameo in this movie), and indeed it does feel like a silly adaptation of a novel, but at least this movie is laughable to watch. I can't decide if Burke is worse in this or in Robocop 3, but arguing over which role had more emotion when one is a robot and not being able to have an answer is troubling. For some reason Burke looks like Jiminy Glick in the overweight scenes, though at least the effects for when he gets thin are decent. The cast is okay, but their characters are unlikeable which means that anytime something happens to them, you're left not caring about what happens to them. Even the guy who curses Billy is unlikable, the whole plot of revenge is mediocre at this point. The way that Billy manages to get rid of the curse is stupid (really? Putting his blood into a pie? It's from the novel, but still.), but I guess all curses could be solved by pies. Especially pecan pies. What we've got is a mediocre movie that runs short enough to where you'll forget about it after a few hours, with effects that are probably better than the characters, and it makes you want to eat pie. So I guess it makes sense, especially that last part.
Overall, I give it 4 out of 10 stars.