March 11, 2014
Movie Night: Jaws 3-D.
Review #556: Jaws 3-D.
Dennis Quaid (Michael Brody), Bess Armstrong (Kathryn Morgan), Simon MacCorkindale (Philip FitzRoyce), Louis Gossett, Jr. (Calvin Bouchard), John Putch (Sean Brody), Lea Thompson (Kelly Ann Bukowski), Harry Grant (Shelby Overman), and P. H. Moriarty (Jack Tate) Directed by Joe Alves.
After making a sequel that was mostly inferior to the original, making a third movie was...a given? The original idea for this movie was devised by the producers of the first two films (David Brown and Richard Zanuck), which would've been a spoof film, called Jaws 3, People 0. The idea of a spoof didn't appeal to the studio, who apparently thought it would've been a mistake, like "fouling in your own nest". So yeah, why is the movie called Jaws 3-D? Due to the revival of films using 3D (Amityville 3D, Friday the 13th Part III), 3D was used, with in-disposable polarized glasses given to the audience to give the impression of elements penetrating the screen, with examples being the opening titles (which look tacky, but make sense), the shark going through the window...and the shark's jaws coming for the screen after explosion. However, when watching on television, the titles are fixed to not be so phoned in, with a title of "Jaws III" and consequently , the resolution is a bit poor to look at. But how is the film itself? Pretty terrible. The actors (save for Louis Gossett, who at least looks like he cares about how he acts in the movie) aren't really anything special, mostly harmless, mostly bland. The effects are pretty awful, it doesn't take long for the movie to "showcase" itself, with the remains of a fish lingering on screen for several seconds, obviously trying to look like it's coming towards the screen, but it just feels like padding. The shark apparently moves like a whack-a-mole, and it's really hard to build up tension when the shark moves s-l-o-w-l-y to break the glass, with the broken grass going towards the camera. The ending is about as silly as it gets, with the guts exploding towards the screen. Oh and the dolphins survive. People die, but oh happy day that the dolphins survive. The movie quite literally jumps the shark with this sequel, but there's still one more sequel to go.
Overall, I give it 3 out of 10 stars.